Proud To Be Filipino. Oh Really Now?

Oh yeah, it's always on the buzz recently, with all of the Manny Pacquiao, Charice and Arnel Pineda making all the headlines, you couldnt help but feel proud of yourself being FILIPINO.

And this just it, I'm so proud that I'm a Filipino after the "Philippine" Football team Azkals won against Sri Lanka for the elimination for the World Fifa Finals. (I think some of the information there are wrong, but thats not the point here.) My biggest congratulations to the team, and for the Philippines for having another achievement for the country.

But here's the thought, a lotta people are saying that they are proud to be Filipino in twitter. Nothing wrong with that, just some nationalistic pride kicking in, nothing wrong with that if you yourself are always proud of your own lineage. Of course people are only proud that they are Filipino when something good about the Philippines come in the headlines. But when you see anything that further deteriorates or destroys the image of the Philippines to the whole world, you'll find most of them saying that they'd be better off if they were in another country or just support the entire claim and wouldnt do anything to change the current state.

I know I'm not making any much sense right now, but I'd appreciate it more if you continue to be proud that you are a Filipino despite the towering garbage in the Smokey Mountains or the impoverished faces of our kababayans in the slums. And it would count more if you would be thinking of ways on how to put a solution to these problems.

Nationalism doesn't just end with you being proud of our achievements or the achievements of other Filipinos, but you also think of ways on how to alleviate the state of the country. And I think that has a deeper and profound sense of being rather than just joining the bandwagon of supporting those who are already popular but just make a name for the Philippines, but never make any solutions for change.

And if you are curious why I placed quotes on Philippines when referring to the team, its because the composition of the teams as well as their lineage are not entirely Pinoy, does Younghusband sound Manila-ish to you. Pero I think thats kinda irrelevant right now.


Pero, thats just food for thought.

Social Angst 1: Hating The Nothing But Yourself

So I just saw this picture of me, and how I can see that my emotional maturity hasn't even change on a very large scale. Well, I thought I could disprove a lot of facts about myself, but sometimes, really, its still the same. Yes, I'm a very maladaptive guy (according to PERSEF3) and I have tendencies to create different faces depending on the situation.

Of course, I end up hurting myself a lot big time. And yah, I'm starting to regret a lot of decisions that I ended up doing this year. I wanna quit some, but I don't want them to reflect on me. Of course, its a lot of benefits for me in the long run, but I'm no longer enjoying.


Urgh, I'm confused now and I don't know what I'm writing anymore. I confused because I don't know why and I don't wanna care, but I don't wanna let it boil up either. I hate my life right now. I hate seeing people right now. I'm back to my destructive self. I hate the sad reality of what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm hating again and I swore I'd never hate again.

I just wanna punch someone randomly in the face. I wanna punch the mirror. I just wanna feel pain, then just wallow up in the back like some lost dog.

Fuck this life. I wanna sleep and wake up when all of this is over.

Sometimes, screw the thought that I started this, then I should end this. Stop now please.

For the past two years, I've been with a lot of awesome people. Really, a single person couldnt expect and ask nothing more from them.

Well, we were really unique individuals from the very start, but we have one goal in mind and I think that is what keeps us together. Oh, I forgot, it was the idea that we are a family that keeps us bonded and one with what we wanted to do.

After two years, some of us took the the same road again, while some of us already pursued different things for their life. But I will not forget them. Well, I won't allow myself too, and frankly I think they would be thinking of the very same thing. Haha

I probably should invite them for lunch one of these days, while I'm not yet swallowed up by a lot of things.

Gone are the Days

Well, gone are the days that I looked like a scrawny kid from the province with a twisted mind, anti-social inclinations and shallow desires (well some shallow desires still stay with me).

College gave me a new and clean slate. Like if I create a venn diagram comparing me from high school and me right now in college, there's little similarities in the middle and a brighter perspective on the right side of the diagram. Haha

But still, I'm a frustrated arts-man. Frustrated at writing, drawing and even doodling. I'm stuck with programming as of the moment, but hey, I'm getting the hang of it. Haha. And I still like laughing and placing "haha" in every comment or text to fill up some of the empty spaces.

And yeah, this world of mine in the internet rarely gets updated. That sucks. I did promise again and again that I would updating this one, but uhh I get slurry and I end up writing nothing at all.

Which reminds me, what was I supposed to be talking about. Haha

Well, gone are the days that I try to act like I control everything, I just let myself be soupy sometimes.

Relatively Awesome

Describe me in one word today: HAPPY

But really, I'm happy almost everyday of my life. Screw my mouth if I always have that upside-down smile.

Just last week, well, I was really tired, but I had an awesome weekender. Hooray!

Thanks to someone.

I don't wanna expound just yet, since we havent talked and all. But kudos to a beautiful life ahead :))

FCUK. Im Confused

Ok, now, so creating another blog from your original gmail proved to be just a little bit too troublesome. I'm kidding, I find it too troublesome.

Just the other day, I had this interplanetary slap that allowed me to write another post in my forsaken blog about some random stuff I was thinking about at the moment. And since ages ago I thought that I would be blogging again so I had a quicklink in my menu bar. Then obviously I clicked the icon, and voila, I haven't logged out. It was my blog, entitled "The Hierarchy of the Aces" (which actually is the name of my other blog). To cut the long crap short, I wrote, finished the whole thing and clicked PUBLISH.

Oh Boy, was I in a surprise when I saw that I only had four posts there, and ka-ching, I remembered, wrong blog.

Well I told myself that I would be migrating those entries in this blog. But I realized that I would get the dates all mixed up so I rather not. BUMMER.


Any way, I should just provide the links to compensate for my stupidity. I think that would placate me just a little bit. Or not.

Well hey, I think this is my first blog of the year. And I'm feeling so great that I think I would still add a lot of though to this one. Maybe who knows, I can make 365++ posts even if I didn't post anything during the first two days of the month of the new year.

Cheers to me!

P.S
And oh, I decided I'm gonna use King Curse Mark from now on instead of thunder raikent. Brings out a lot of bad memories, the name that is.

So prepared to be cursed, I mean astounded by King Curse Mark (That was random)

Tanikala Isa: Nangangalumbaba at Nakaupo sa Kawalan

Recently, I've started writing in Tagalog.

I don't know if its my own patriotism kicking in or I'm just assuming that Tagalog has a more comic effect than that of the Hurrahs and Hurrays of the English language.

Matagal na akong naghahanap ng isang konkretong kaisipan na maari kong mailathala, mabigyan ng buhay at mabigyan ng identidad. Mahirap nga lang na isipan na kahit na nais mong gawan ng isang magandang prosa ang ganitong bagay ay may nakaisip na nito, or better yet, someone already made the job of making it into a masterpiece.

Buhay nga naman, its really small that you end up seeing it in all its four corners. (Musni, 2010)

Nais ko sanang isulat ang aking pagkapanalo sa wikang aking kinagisnan, ngunit, nawawalan ako ng gana sa gitna ng pagbibigay pugay dito. Its unfair for me not to give myself credit when I know that I deserve it - I have the bragging rights, but its quite stupid for you to brag about when you know that someone might not even take time to read it.

Its like talking to an empty stretch of parchment - it never replies, nor does it give any intentions of making you feel any more better. (Musni, 2010)

Maybe I'll stop now, and maybe, just maybe, mamaya I have something better to write rather than quote on random stuff that I know everyone already knows.

See yah later.