Toying with Old Memoirs and Bluer Skies

Nostalgia

It's always like that whenever you miss the people that you really hold dear, despite your sentiments against them, as well as their shortcomings.

It's always like that, always.

But, I really don't get it why its that why.

It might be some lingering feeling of guilt over the people that you want to prove yourself again. To show that you are worth it, and not just a face in the background of each class picture taken.

I just read some common Bicol terms in the library recently, and it made me feel all nostalgic. Its like black and white images, still and moving, are flashing in my mind one by one - like a movie on repeat. Its like a film, that ceases to end, and would continue to linger, to transcend and to withstand the test of time.

All of them in the picture, including me have moved on with our lives. We chose the path that we want to pursue, chased the dreams that we long for, and made the mistakes that our mind can't fathom just yet. Most of us chose paths that time has been pushing down on us, but some were courageous to go against the flow and cast their own shadow.

I wanted to cast my own shadow. But that's not possible at this moment. Nor at any other moment at a time called youth.

But let's go back.

Once upon a time, I met all of them, and like happily ever after, i will remember them.

Copyright

Be forewarned..

All essays in this blog are placed under a copyright, and those who are caught plagiarizing any of these works would meet their due reprimands.

Thank you for understanding, and would be updating soon.

Promise

Promises are meant to be broken

But this promise I will not break.

My blogs, namely, Hierarchy of the Aces and Insanity.Profanity.Dignity would be undergoing a major overhaul.

For Hierarchy of the Aces:
* Deleting corny and cheesy entries like the song and writing about the true human life and adversaries.

* Writing seriously, and exhausting all means to practice my writing prowess.

* To write friendly and user-friendly entries.

* And to show my true ego!

For Insanity.Profanity.Dignity:

* More topics. I wish i don't run out of ideas.


Stay tuned!

Knowing

If You Only Knew

Then Would You Know?

Would It Change Anything?

If You Only Knew that every laugh is commensurate to a stab to my already fragile heart

If You Only Knew That I was looking for someone who would make me smile

But then, would that make a difference?

Then Would You Know, How Sad It Is to Be Me

Make ME Laugh, and I'll be gone from the darkness

Then Would You Know, how it is to be the real me...

My Eyes Hurt
So Does My Heart
When Will Pain End
When Will My Wounds Mend

I'm A Loser



But I'm Obviously Lying


It's called FRONTS and I am fully capable of doing it so.


LIE LIE and LIE some more

Maybe the world is just a world full of the web of lies. An entire connection of fallacies, false hopes, empty promises within the wor;d in which we could not decipher.

We continue living in this world of lies, not knowing that we too are both the victims and the suspects of the same crime.

The truth is as bleak as the future. Its incomprehensible, its enigmatic, yet its not real.

A Lie, it is just a LIE.

2009 : Resolutions and Cliches

Its the start of a new year once again ladies ad gentlemen, and word on the street is, its going to be a lucky green year because its the year of the earth ox.

*I thought that since its the EARTH ox, it couldve been brown.*

Anywho. The start of the new year, well, triggers the quite funny antics of people who wish to clamor for change and want to start the new year right. People often promise to do this to a certain extent, but ends up breaking the promise after an unforeseen circumstance. Filipino's are quite fond of this antic, and so does the rest of the world. They call it their new years resolution, but I call it a cliche.

Every year, its like part of an ancient Filipino New Year tradition, the media noche, the making of those irritating noises when midnight strikes, the creepy polkadot dress and shirts, the frantic running just to open all the lights in the house, the illogical jumping up and down just to gain some height, and, ah,yes, the new years resolution.

"Oh, you know mommy, i have a new years resolution up my sleeve...*with eyes whose expression was like she found her doll that was ravaged by racoons*"

"What is it baby?? *with all the weird enthusiasm of a mother*"

"I wont lie anymore... *better hope his fingers were crossed*"

And so many other resolutions like this kept on harping and being heard all over the town, like so and so would not drink anymore (but would eventually drink when there is an "occassion"), and that so and so would be faithful, would try harder on his or her studies, would stop loving, would work hard, and other mundane stuff that they speak of.

Truly, it is the more brilliant example that it is easier said than done.

You know what I mean, these people *including me for the record* would babble up somr random stuff that he or wishes to do in order to attain change. New Years Resolution in fact are one of te most effective avenues where one couldve seen the things where they really do have flaws, and one of the many ways in which people would want to strive for change either for the betterment of themselves or the people around them in general.

But what is wrong in this scenario is that, you have to wait for 365 day intervention in order for people to wish change for themselves. They isolated themselves in an idea that "hey, its a new year, maybe I should change my attitude". Their sole distinct mark for change is just to wait for a new year so that there could be change.

What if the country was like that. What if the Philippines wanted to change the way the economy operates for the betterment, but would still wait for that 365 day time line.

Like the rest of the things that God created in this world, we could only attain the change we want if would do it in a daily basis, not just a one time big time promise that only happens once a year. If we would like something to improve within ourselves so that we could become better citizens of our nation and better children of God, we might as well try to find our humane faults and try to deal with them, like the saying, strike while the iron is hot. We must try to reduce the faults that we have into a minimal level so that it does not accumulate to anymore mistakes that we would likely do in the future. Why wait for a 365 day period just to see the many faults that you have already accumulated, where in one day at a time, you couldve changed it, and become a better person at the end of the year, and emerge as an even better person at its start.

All people do want to babble up things for the betterment of themselves, but they neglect the fact that change does not happen in a day. It takes a serious amount of time to achieve the thing or the change that you want, be it minute or ginormous. Its a step by step account on what are the things that we want to do just to achieve that change.

We might not as well strive for divine intervention or extreme enlightenment, but just random acts that would compound to the change we desire would be our best means, rather than resorting to such fallacies(?) like resolutions.

Are we still up for resolutions?

I know i'm not.

Northern Downpour and The Moon

The sky was crying its usual tears, like tomorrow was a day that would lay dead over its own resiliency. Walking along the rivers that escaped their deprecation from their origins, I too was escaping my own deprecations that consumes my very light.

"If all our life is but a dream
Fantastic posing greed
Then we should feed our jewelery to the sea
For diamonds do appear to be
Just like broken glass to me"

Like life on the verge of seeing illusions and fallacies. I see people, consumed by their own selfishness, sinking to the hollow depths on nothing that encompasses their return to mortality. I too was being consumed by the same mundane force that drives no one to sweet sanity. Yet, its still not pushing me down, for I was still holding on to something that, as dreary as the summer's light, was still there, reaching, grasping.

"And then she said she can't believe
Genius only comes along
In storms of fabled foreign tongues
Tripping eyes, and flooded lungs
Northern downpour sends its love"

Intelligence was what people always clamored for, not knowing that intelligence itself was with people all along. A fallacy popularized to be hide in stealth among its seekers. Knowledge was abundant, but we still search for it. It is already standing at our front, in a box, covered in pristine gold of wavering infidelity, but we insist on searching for it beyond our eyes reach. We are already too much engulfed in our humane sorrow and selfishness that we didnt know that we are already falling down.

"Hey moon, please forget to fall down
Hey moon, don't you go down"

Down, down, went the rain that washes over our dignity and our sanity. We are being pursued by our sins due to our attempts to climb up the pedestal of false promises. We continue to fall down, forgetting resiliency, forgetting sanity, forgetting life.

Sugarcane in the easy mornin'
Weathervanes my one and lonely

The doom is not promising, for the light of the eternal glory is making bleak responses over our shouts. The light is not deaf, nor are we mute, but we fail to acknowldge the fact of our indifference. The light is already shining, yet we turn blind to the truth we see, we clamor for for the fallacy that we are seemingly being consumed.

The ink is running toward the page
It's chasin' off the days
Look back at boat feet
And that winding knee
I missed your skin when you were east
You clicked your heels and wished for me

We were moving away from our real destination. We are so close to the end of our verses yet we say that we are far. We avoid the lesser of all evils and prefer the ones that stain our hands with blood after dusk has paved its way over the shores of our mundane thinkings. We slowly swim to the shore thinking that we could be saved while we are already being eaten by the sharks of our sins. Placid was the waters but we insist on its blind clarity. We cover up for the greater evil and accuse the lesser evils of the lies.

Through playful lips made of yarn
That fragile Capricorn
Unraveled words like moths upon old scarves
I know the world's a broken bone
But melt your headaches, call it home

We seek home, but home is within ourselves. We are already blind. We are already mute. For we forgot to see the things that lie within our horizons. We were so busy seeking that bounty of the world beyond the sun-filled horizon. We continue to be inflicted by our defects, and we continue to deprecate in our attempts for survival.

Hey moon, please forget to fall down
Hey moon, don't you go down

Sugarcane in the easy mornin'
Weathervanes my one and lonely

Sugarcane (hey moon) in
(Hey moon) the easy mornin'
Weathervanes (hey moon) my
(Hey moon) one and lonely

Sugarcane (hey moon) in (hey moon)
The easy (hey moon) mornin'
Weathervanes (hey moon) my (hey moon)
One (hey moon) and lonely

Sugarcane (hey moon) in (hey moon)
The easy (hey moon) mornin'
Weathervanes (hey moon) my (hey moon)
One (hey moon) and lonely

Hey moon, please forget to fall down
Hey moon, don't you go down
You are at the top of my lungs
Drawn to the ones who never yawn

Alas, the end has reached its death. But when will our insanity ever put to a halt.