Friday, January 8, 2010

I Really Tried Sleeping With A Broken Heart

It really doesn't feel good at all. Try closing your eyes and you see her face, her smile and everything that she is flashing on rewind and on playback on your mind, like a ballerina on an endless waltz.

I hate this feeling of longing whenever you wanted to tell her that you still want to be the one beside her, yet she ignores and avoids. Its like walking forward to catch up with her, but the space doesn't even close up even a tiny fraction of an inch.

Am I not man enough, nor am I not enough?

I constantly ask myself that silly fucking question if whether I deserve another persons heart; another persons time; and another persons hand.

Maybe its not the same way as I want it to be etched in destiny.

Maybe its meant to be that way.

Maybe its meant that I end up picking up myself from misery while another constantly assures her that she is worth it.

I can not find the assurance of my worth.

I have long been out of the game, the competition for her that I made in my mind.

I have long been the loser, battling against a battle already lost.

But just look my way again, and I'll be more than glad to show you that I more than what I once was, and what he is.

I Love You are only remaining weapons in my arsenal, and I will still fight with this, even though I am all wounded and bruised up.

I Love You, remember that. And no shadow nor lyre can keep me away from that.